A few weeks ago I had a conversation with a parent about how to talk to her daughter about homosexuality. Our teenagers live in a culture where homosexuality is no longer looked at wrong, but something that is acceptable and doesn’t matter if the two people are “in love.” Our teenagers might not be struggling with homosexuality themselves, but they have questions about it. They want to know why the Christian Church says homosexuality is a sin, but their friends at schools say it’s ok. Unfortunately many Christian pastors and leaders are supporting homosexuality, which makes it even more confusing for our teenagers. Many people say, “If someone wants to be homosexual it’s not their problem, it’s their choice. In fact, they were born that way, why should we judge?” That’s the kind of thing our teenagers are hearing. They need adults to answer their questions about homosexuality. They are asking the right questions, but do we have the right answers?
In this series of posts I want to share a few thoughts on the common questions I hear from teenagers about homosexuality. My goal is to equip parents, student pastors, and youth workers with answers to teenagers questions about homosexuality.
Why is homosexuality wrong and is it a sin? Teenagers live in a culture that is saturated with relativism. Basically, their is no right and wrong (no absolute truth) so it’s up to you how you want to live. What’s wrong for you may not be wrong for me. Everyone defines their own rules. In this culture teens live in, homosexuality is viewed as acceptable and ok because it’s the persons choice. Because their is no absolute truth, a person is not in the wrong for being a homosexual. So how do we explain to teens homosexuality is wrong and is a sin? We have to start with God’s Word where absolute truth is found.
In Genesis 2:18-25 God sets up the first relationship between a man and a woman. This passage records the first ever wedding in human history. God created Adam and said it was not good for him to be alone. So he put Adam asleep, took out one of his ribs, and formed a woman named Eve. Adam wakes up and finds his partner Eve. Adams expresses his love for her and they become the first couple in human history. In verses 24-25 God gives the pattern for marriage: one man, one woman, one flesh. The reason homosexuality is wrong is because it goes against God’s original design. God designed one man and one woman to come come together and form one flesh through the ceremony of marriage. It’s not only wrong, it’s a sin!
In Romans 1:18-32, Paul is explaining the depravity of humanity. How mankind has taken God’s truth and suppressed it in order to live the way they want. In verses 26-27 Paul mentioned that God gave them up to their “dishonorable passions.” He then explains what those dishonorable passions are: women gave up their natural relations to be with other women and men likewise gave natural relations to be with women for being with other men. If homosexuality was ok and not a sin, why would Paul mentioned it here as dishonorable and within a passage where he is explaining the depravity of mankind? The bottom line is this-homosexuality is opposite of God’s design for marriage and is sin.
Can you be a homosexual and still be a Christian? The short answer to this question is easy-YES! Some people may read that and think I’m a heretic, but let me explain. Homosexuality is a sin, just like adultery, pride, greed, and other sins listed in the Bible. Do Christians struggle with pride? You better believe it! Do Christians fail morally and commit adultery? Unfortunately, yes. So how can we say Christians can struggle with that stuff and not homosexuality? We can’t! Homosexuality is just like any other sin we struggle with as believers. So can someone be a Christian and a homosexual? Yes.
The deeper question with this issue of a homosexual being a Christian is does that person struggle with homosexuality or are they comfortably living the lifestyle of homosexuality? If someone is truly a Christian they will not continue in their sin as a lifestyle (1 John 3:9). Because the Holy Spirit indwells them, they will experience conviction over their sin and a life of sanctification. God’s Word makes it clear that when a believer is living in sin, God will chastise them and not let them continue in their sin (Hebrews 12:5-11). A person can struggle with homosexuality and be a Christian. But they will encounter conviction over that as sin and God will not let them continue in a lifestyle of sin. Just like some Christians struggle with pornography, some Christians struggle with homosexuality.
In part 2 of this series we will look at more common questions teenagers ask about homosexuality. I hope this first post has been helpful and gives you some information to share with teens that ask you about homosexuality.